


Okay

by alafaye



Category: Gravitation
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-05
Updated: 2012-12-05
Packaged: 2017-11-20 09:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/583873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alafaye/pseuds/alafaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The holidays are always difficult, but sometimes, it gets a little easier. Sequel to "Decorations" and "Green"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Okay

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2012 holiday advent at the LJ community adventchallenge. Prompt is "candle".

High up over the city, it was quiet. The snow was soft and falling slowly. Shuichi pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders and looked back at Eiri. "When do you think it'll stop?"

Eiri didn't stop writing. He continued as if he hadn't heard Shuichi's question, but he probably hadn't. Shuichi stood and kissed Eiri's forehead. He shuffled into the kitchen and turned on the kettle. It was gift from Eiri--not that he said it was. He'd simply set it on the counter and explained to Shuichi how it worked. Shuichi only had to fill it with water, place it on the bottom, and press the on button. It would turn off once it had reached the proper temperture. No chance to overheat or anything. Shuichi had learned to wait a few minutes after it was off so the steam wouldn't cause him to drop the pitcher, but he had no problems now making a cup of tea for Eiri.

As the water heated, Shuichi plugged in the lights for the tree--the plug sitting several, safe feet away from the tree so it wouldn't get knocked over. Despite it being a week into December and they'd had the tree up for as long, there was no new ornament for it. It was Eiri's turn to get one, but Shuichi wondered if he would.

The kettle clicked off and Shuichi set a simple timer for five minutes. He set up two cups, one with a little splash of brandy for Eiri, and hummed to himself, dancing in place. Several months had passed since Ryuichi had confessed he loved Shuichi and kissed him. Several months of a tense silence in the apartment and between Shuichi and Eiri.

Riku had long since gone back to New York, but he emailed simple emails to Shuichi, always eager to know about Shuichi and what he was doing and where he was going. He wanted to know when Shuichi was going to be back in the States. 

Pouring the water, Shuichi wondered if he ever would be.

He wouldn't mind--he loved performing and he loved his fans, but the States were full of memories that weren't pleasant. Eiri certainly would act as though Shuichi wasn't going there and would not keep in contact while the band was touring.

He put the cup at the edge of Eiri's desk and curled back up near the window, watching the snow and wondering what Christmas they would have.

~~~

A few days later, Shuichi blinked when his phone played Eiri's tone. Since Eiri had fallen into one of his writing moods, Shuichi had decided to stay with Hiro for a few days, playing video games and catching up and just hanging out. Hiro didn't mind, too much, and didn't ask why Shuichi was not at the apartment, bothering Eiri. Suguru had joined them once, hoping that if Eiri wasn't distracting Shuichi, they could work on some of the music, but Hiro had put a stop to that. They were way ahead of schedule--the new album had been finished two months ago, two months ahead of schedule, and they had three new songs worked out. Seven more songs were written and they were on track to getting them done early.

And if something did happen, they were ahead of schedule.

Shuichi was enjoying the slow pace. It was nice. He couldn't wait to get home to Eiri, but he liked the break and the quiet.

"Eiri?" he said into his phone.

Hiro looked over and raised his eyebrows. Shuichi waved a hand and left the room. 

"How long, brat?" Eiri asked. He inhaled as if he had a cigarette in hand.

"Um, since what?" Shuichi asked carefully. He'd been doing that a lot. He wasn't afraid, really, of Eiri doing something, but rather of Eiri getting hurt.

Eiri exhaled, inhaled, exhaled. Smoking. "Since you left," he finally said.

"A few days," Shuichi answered. "Not long. You seemed deep into your book. Hiro and I have been catching up."

A careful pause Shuichi could hear even on the phone. "I can't remember when I last saw you," Eiri admitted finally.

Shuichi smiled. He kind of understood that. When the muse demanded, you could only go along for the ride. He leaned back against the wall and tilted his head back. "I think it might have been last week. I dunno."

"There was a cup of tea on my desk," Eiri said. "It had brandy in it, but it was cold."

"From the night I left, probably," Shuichi said. He worried his lip with his teeth. "Have you eaten?"

Inhale and exhale again. "No." Eiri paused again. "Come home--I'll make something. If you haven't eaten."

"Sounds good," Shuichi said. "Let me just get my stuff together."

Eiri hung up. Shuichi stared at his phone. He didn't know why, but something felt...odd. He didn't know what, but he didn't think it was something bad. He shrugged and pocketed his phone. "Hiro!"

~~~

"Here you go, little buddy," Hiro said as he parked his bike.

"Thanks," Shuichi said. He looked up and thought he saw something move away from the window of their apartment. 

"Hey, Shu." Hiro sighed. "Is everything all right with you and Eiri? It seems kind of...quiet between you two right now."

Shuichi shrugged. "I don't know. We haven't talked about...Ryuichi. Or anything much."

Hiro looked up at the apartment and then back at Shuichi. "If you still need a place to crash--"

Shuichi smiled. "I'll call."

Hiro nodded and started the bike up. Shuichi watched him leave and then entered the building. He called out when he got inside, greeted by the smell of cooking rice and meat. Eiri was setting plates on the table and his lips twitched, like he was almost smiling.

"Welcome home," Eiri said. 

Something was off, yeah. But Eiri was unreadable, face closed, and didn't look like he was open to Shuichi's usual questions. So Shuichi sat and they ate dinner and went to bed, all in the quiet.

~~~

Eiri looked a little lost in the morning, though. He did when he finished a book anyway so Shuichi thought it was just because he hadn't quite gotten out of writing mode. It was snowing again and while Eiri didn't care for it, Shuichi decided that a walk out might be something fun to do.

"Why?" Eiri sighed, warily watching Shuichi over his cup.

"For fun?" Shuichi suggested. Eiri narrowed his eyes. Shuichi hunched his shoulders. Behind him, the lights from the tree flashed--they both had forgotten to unplug them last night. But it gave Shuichi an idea. "To get an ornament!"

Eiri stared quietly for a long moment. He looked at the tree and then at Shuichi and then back. He did this several times, slowly. Shuichi ate his breakfast, trying to not look like he was waiting anxiously. 

"It's my turn to get it this year, right?" Eiri said finally.

Shuichi nodded. Eiri put his cup down and refilled it with the last of the pot. "All right. We'll go get one."

So they were soon out in the cold, snow falling almost like a dream. Shuichi rested his head on Eiri's shoulder and smiled. Eiri seemed cautious. 

"If Ryuichi came back, would you go with him?" Eiri asked, startling Shuichi.

"Huh?" he asked blankly.

Eiri sighed and began patting his pockets. He found his cigarettes and lighter in his left pocket and lit a cigarette in seconds flat. After two pulls of it, he asked again. "If Ryuichi came back, would you go with him?"

Oh. Shuichi put his hands in his pockets and kicked at the drifts of snow gathering. It was a serious question and he wondered why Eiri hadn't asked before. There had been that kiss--no matter that Ryuichi had kissed Shuichi, Shuichi had gamely and willingly kissed the rock god back. He wouldn't ever deny it hadn't been nice or something from his childhood dreams. Different, of course, from kissing Eiri.

Kissing Ryuichi had been like going on stage. Shuichi liked that feeling. Kissing Eiri was like that moment just before falling asleep, when anything was possible and could make his heart race in his chest or make him feel like he did when he came home after a tour, comfortable. Shuichi found himself more fond of that feeling, found himself wanting more of it instead of searching for complete happiness in his music career.

Eiri growled and stamped out his cigarette on the ground. "Damn it, Shuichi. If you want him, just fucking say so!"

Shuichi stopped and tugged on Eiri's sleeve. When Eiri faced him, face pinched tight with anger, Shuichi pulled him down for a kiss. He sighed into it, just barely opening his mouth. Eiri was warm and smelled like his cigarettes and beer, but also like tea and the snow. Eiri slowly wrapped his arms around Shuichi and leaned into the kiss. Shuichi licked his lips when it ended, eyes closed, and he rested his forehead against Eiri's.

"I would tell him no," Shuichi said. "I don't care how relentlessly he chases me or how much Tohma pressures me. I don't care. Because I love you, Eiri, and I would give everything up to be with you."

Eiri's arms tightened and then loosened. His entire body relaxed. "I love you, too." He took a deep breath and his entire frame shook with it. He lifted his head and stepped back. "But I am not an easy person to love. I'm still haunted by Kitazawa and New York and...Tohma." He seemed reluctant to say the last part, but he did. He shook his head. "Shuichi, I don't--"

"Don't," Shuichi whispered. "Don't, Eiri." 

"Shuichi," Eiri said. He sounded lost and Shuichi looked up at him. He smiled and put his hands on Eiri's cold cheeks.

"You have grown so much since I first met you," Shuichi said. "So. Much. And while you make it difficult for anyone to love you, you are capable of being loved, Eiri. And capable of loving someone else."

Eiri looked away. "You can't will others to love, Shuichi. Can't will others to love you."

Eiri sounded so hurt. Shuichi stepped back and wrapped his arms around himself. "I--I don't know what you want, Eiri. I love you. I want to be with you. No one else. What more do you want?"

The snow started falling harder and the wind picked up. A few streets over, a dog barked. Eiri shuffled his feet and then he was wrapping his arms around Shuichi again. He bent his head until it was resting on Shuichi's. Shuichi squeezed his eyes closed and his hands twisted in Eiri's jacket. 

"You," Eiri whispered. "I want you."

"You have me, Eiri," Shuichi said.

"Can't get rid of you?" Eiri asked.

"You never could," Shuichi said. "Never."

Eiri sighed. "I couldn't, could I? And I never will, eh?"

Shuichi shook his head. "Never."

Eiri sighed and straightened. He took one of Shuichi's hands in his and tangled their fingers together. "Come on, brat. We have an ornament to buy."

Shuichi smiled.

~~~

Eiri found the ornament, but he'd found it while Shuichi had been distracted by one of his younger fans. He noticed Eiri at the register, having it boxed up. He bounced over with a grin. "What'd you find?"

Eiri paid the clerk and handed the box to Shuichi. "Don't drop it." He left the store and waited outside, lighting a cigarette.

Shuichi tipped his head at the clerk and ran outside to catch up. Eiri glanced at him. "It's...it's you. All right?"

Shuichi frowned and began opening the box. "I didn't think they even made those. I don't remember K mentioning...it..." He trailed off as he peered into the tissue paper. It was a candle--the base plastic, but the flame was glass, the inside a mirror and the outside dusted with gold glitter. "What do you mean, it's me?"

Eiri stopped and sighed. He turned and frowned. "Just take it home and put it on the tree."

It would probably look beautiful. The lights would catch it as they flickered and it would look like a real candle. Shuichi shrugged and followed Eiri as they walked home. He thought about it, how Eiri had said it. He scrunched up his face; this was the ornament that Eiri had gotten Shuichi for this year, a gift, something that meant...Shuichi.

"Oh!" He said, stopping in the middle of the street.

Eiri continued walking for a minute, but seemed to realize he couldn't hear Shuichi's steps and turned around. "What?"

Shuichi smiled and cradled the ornament closer. "Nothing. Just. It's me."

Eiri blushed and scoffed. "Come on, brat. It's damn cold out here and I want lunch sometime today."

Shuichi nodded and caught up with Eiri who rolled his eyes. Not that Shuichi cared. He kept smiling the rest of the day, especially after he put the ornament on the tree.

II.

Tohma smiled politely as Tatsuha opened the door for him. "Thank you."

Tatsuha frowned. "Ryuichi is in the back. I'll get him for you."

Tohm continued to smile. Tatsuha shook his head. He quickly left and returned with Ryuichi. Tohma removed his hat and sat on a chair. "Tatsuha, could you leave us alone for a moment?"

Tatsuha glared, but left. Ryuichi raised his eyebrows. "Tohma?"

"It's about Shuichi and Eiri," Tohm said placidly.

Ryuichi frowned and crossed his arms. "What about them?"

"It's very simple, really," Tohma said. "I have struggled in vain to find a way to separate them, but Shuichi had no distraction." Ryuichi waited. Tohma sighed. "If you can successfully get Shuichi away from Eiri, I will arrange for Bad Luck to record several albums here and a two year tour. Essentially, keeping Shuichi here with you."

Ryuichi's face tightened. "And what about Eiri?"

Tohma's smile twisted. "He would, of course, stay in Japan. I could see to it that is publisher requires him to have his own book tour."

"Wouldn't he just follow Shuichi?" Ryuichi asked.

"I will keep him...focused elsewhere," Tohma said.

"I'm not sure..." 

"No," Tatsuha said from the doorway. He glared at them both. "I can't believe this. Especially you, Tohma." He stepped into the room as his hands clenched into fists. "I thought you only wanted what would make Eiri happy."

Tohma narrowed his eyes and stood. "Eiri cannot be happy with Shuichi. He needs someone calmer, who understands Eiri's uniqueness."

Tatsuha scoffed. "I'm sure. You have it all worked out, don't you? Have you thought to ask Eiri what he wants?"

"I don't have to," Tohma said. "I've known Eiri for a long time."

"And what about Shuichi?" Tatsuha asked. He looked at Ryuichi. "Can you honestly tell me you would break up a happy relationship just to satisfy your wants?"

Ryuichi smiled a little. "If I could have Shuichi to myself? Yes, I think I would."

Tatsuha growled. "Then I'm leaving. I won't stand by and let either of you destroy a perfectly happy relationship because you want someone."

While he was packing, Ryuichi said, "I don't think Shuichi will leave Eiri."

Tohma smiled serenly. "Leave that to me."

~~~

"He wants us to what?" Shuichi asked.

"Finish the album by the first week of January," K said with a beaming smile.

"We can't do that," Suguru said. His arms were crossed and he looked eerily similar to his cousin in his displeasure. "I admit that I am surprised by our progress, but even we cannot finish the seven songs within a month's time."

"Tohma says that you can if you continue at the rate you are going," K said. He pointed on of his many guns on the band. "Get to it."

Shuichi sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Suguru?"

Suguru straightened his papers. "We'll start with _This Moon_."

~~~

"Eiri?" Tohma called when he entered the apartment. He set the food on the counter, some of it in the fridge, and walked to the study.

Eiri hunched his shoulders. "What do you want?"

"I brought some food," Tohma said. He put his hands on Eiri's shoulders and gently rubbed them. "How is the story coming?"

"Fine," Eiri said tersely. "I can't be distracted, though. Could you--"

"Leave?" Tohma nodded. "Yes, of course. Don't forget to eat."

~~~

Shuichi folded his arms and glared at K. "I don't care! I am staying at the apartment with Eiri for the holiday."

"You don't celebrate it," K said. "You're Japanese."

"Eiri and I do," Shuichi said.

K pointed his gun. "I will kidnap you."

"And I'll just sit here," Shuichi said.

Hiro laughed. "I think we could do with a break. We're only two songs away from being done."

"Much as I dislike saying so, I would appreciate a day off," Suguru added.

K frowned. "Tohma will not approve."

Shuichi smirked. "If we're all in agreement, there's not much he can do. Is there?"

K rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose not."

"Good!" Shuichi chirped. "Then we're taking Christmas off and when we get back, we'll have the last two songs done."

They finished up for the day, laying down the groundwork for when they came back, and were soon heading out. Hiro offered Shuichi a ride, but Tatsuha pulled up to the curb as they left the building.

"I'll take Shuichi home, if that's all right," he said.

Shuichi frowned. "How do I know you're not working with Ryuichi? Maybe you're going to kidnap me back to America."

Tatsuha shook his head. "I left Ryuichi. Tohma paid him a visit and they made an agreement to separate you."

"Is that why he hasn't been in his office?" Suguru asked. When the other three looked at him, he smiled darkly. "I like to keep an eye on him. He hasn't been in all month."

"Do you think he's been with Eiri?" Shuichi asked. Something twisted in his chest. He was sure that Eiri loved him, but what would happen if Tohma offered Eiri a quiet haven away from the world and his demons?

"I wouldn't put it past him," Tatsuha said. "I'm on my way to talk to big brother. Let him know about Tohma's and Ryuichi's plan."

"I suppose that's why Tohma said for us to finish the album early," Hiro said. "So he could visit Eiri while you're locked in the studio."

"Coming, Shuichi?" Tatsuha asked.

~~~

The apartment was quiet. Shuichi shrugged at Tatsuha. "Go ahead and put your stuff in the spare bedroom. I don't think Eiri will mind."

"Thanks," Tatsuha said. 

Shuichi set his bag down by the door and slowly entered Eiri's study, but Eiri wasn't there. He went next to the bedroom and smiled softly. "Eiri?"

Eiri shifted, but said nothing. Shuichi closed the door behind him and gently crawled into the bed next to his lover. He lay his head on Eiri's chest and Eiri's arm curled around his shoulders. "Headache?"

"Tohma," Eiri said.

Shuichi frowned. "Tohma?"

"He's been here a lot," Eiri said.

Shuichi sighed. "He asked that the band finish our album months ahead of schedule. And...Tatsuha is here. He said Tohma and Ryuichi made some kind of agreement."

Eiri groaned. Shuichi leaned up on his shoulder and looked at Eiri. They were quiet--Eiri with his eyes closed and Shuichi watching him. In the quiet, they could hear Tatsuha moving in the apartment.

"Eiri?" Shuichi finally asked.

A single eye opened, very catlike in intensity and shape. Shuichi worried his lip. "I--I know I can be loud sometimes. And distracting."

Eiri smirked and pulled Shuichi down for a soft kiss. "Brat. Tohma has offered himself many times and I always turn him down. Even if it was just a quiet place where I can write in peace, I wouldn't take it."

"Why?" Shuichi asked.

"Besides the fact that I know how much of a shark Tohma is?" Eiri said. "For the same reasons you will never leave."

Shuichi blushed. "Oh."

Eiri shook his head. "I thought you knew that."

Shuichi shrugged. "I know. It's just...sometimes...I know you get angry with me. Because I distract you from writing."

"You've gotten better," Eiri said. "You entertained yourself when I got into a rhythm a few weeks ago."

Shuichi nodded. "Of course."

Eiri rubbed Shuichi's back. "Don't worry, Shuichi. We're okay."

~~~

Tohma didn't stop or show any sign that he was surprised to find Suguru in his home. He hung his hat on the coat stand near the door and unbuttoned his jacket. "How is the album coming?"

Suguru set aside a folder. "We're almost done."

"Good," Tohma said. He poured a glass of water and faced Suguru. "I have talked with several venues--Bad Luck will soon be touring."

"Not in America, I hope," Suguru said. He sat back in the chair behind the desk.

"I believe it's time to reach out to your American fans," Tohma said. 

"And we've not done a tour in Japan in several years," Surugu said. "I think we should stay in Japan."

Tohma waved a hand dismissively. "I have been in the music industry longer than you have. I know how to do this. Trust me when I say that a tour in America is the best thing for you."

"No," Suguru said quietly, but with threat in his voice. "It's best for you that Bad Luck goes to America." 

Tohma narrowed his eyes. "Excuse me?"

Suguru smiled and stood. He put a hand on the folder he'd placed on the desk. "I know that you've been visiting Eiri while we've been in the studio recording the songs. I also know that Ryuichi is poised to welcome Shuichi to America the moment he gets word of the tour you're proposing. I'm not quite that naive anymore, Tohma."

The glass was set down was enough force that some of the water spilled over. "Once the album is finished, Bad Luck will be going to America for a two year tour. Am I clear?"

Suguru shook his head and walked from behind the desk to the coat rack where he picked up his coat. "I think you'll find otherwise, Tohma. Happy Christmas--I left your present on the desk." He buttoned his coat and with a nod to his cousin, left the house.

Tohma clucked his tongue and opened the folder. Inside were several documents that were a clear trail of exactly how much manipulation Tohma had done in the last few months. He closed the folder quickly and closed his eyes. He pulled out his phone and started several emails, one of which to his cousin.

_I believe you'll find these dates and locations more welcoming._

_Happy Christmas._

~~~

Suguru shook his head when he looked at the attachment on the email. There was not one location where Tohma or one of his employees would not be able to watch Bad Luck carefully. 

Well. Suguru sent out his own emails with a smirk.


End file.
